*_*Sweet day...... NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*_*
Who am I to ask this kind of question? I'M A NO ONE ANYWAY...I mean, God has plans for me...He has plans for everyone right? I know life could be so unfair at times...but we've got to accept it and be strong...right? Or am I just convincing myself to believe all these things...? I don't know..I always say to myself that I should be strong..and always say that "I can do this!" but i've realized I'm still weak..and still could be shaken by certain situations that involves my relationship with my bf..
My eyes were teary when I read his msg this afternoon, it said, "Chi, magtransfer daw ako sa ibang school..nagkaproblema kasi sa Bacolod with my cousins kaya. Sana ur not mad at me...pls.."
What? is this for real? he's transferreing to another school? But I thought everything was ok..his enrollement and stuff..and what's with this now?? I don't understand..It took me a while to realize that it was real..and he was going to transfer schools.. I didn't want that to happen! I want to be with him..in school..because I know he'll always be there when I need him..I find security and comfort when I'm with him..I don't feel scared when I'm with him..i really love him... and soon, he won't be with me anymore...I have to adjust all over again..and that's not the only thing that i'm worried about..i'm afraid that he'll find someone new there...or maybe someone will bother me in school and there's no one there to protect me..i'm really scared.. But my bestfriend said that this is a trial and I should face it..A test? To see whether I could handle a relationship like this? I began to think..MAYBE it is a test...and I should go through with this because it's going to test my love, faithfulness and patience..I know it's going to be hard, and it's only the beginning. I know there would be come a time that we are going to be this way because I might leave for the US if I would pass the board...And I would be thousands of miles away from him..Could I handle that in the future? It is uncertain, I know..But I should try..and not give up. It's not we're breaking up or anything..it's just that, we'll be in different schools now and it wouldn't be easy for the both of us..I just hope that everything would be fine.. I'm scared but I have to face my fears..and pray.. I should be strong. I totally understand his situation, and as his gf, I should support him and believe in our relationship. At this moment, I think the perfect song would be this,
The Calling - Wherever You Will Go
So lately been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a greater wave shall fall
It'll fall upon us all
With those dreams that are set in stone
Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a greater wave shall fall
And fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my heart
Run away with my heart
I know now just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Next issue, my grandma's attitude. This is how it started...On my way home, my cousin's gf's younger sister txted me asking if she could borrow my Nursing book for Freshman because it would expensive if she was to buy a new book. Of course, I understand their situation because Nursing books are expensive and it wouldn't be so worth it (that's my opinion anyway). I agreed to lend it to her because it was just sitting under my bed collecting all the dirt and dust in my room..So I told her that my cousin would bring it there later so that she could use it.. That was cool with me..I really didn't mind.. So when I got home, I took the book and placed it on the table so that my cousin would get it to bring it to his gf's house. I told my grandma that my friend's gonna borrow the book. Knowing my grandma, she would hardly lend anyone anything from our house...She's selfish. She doesn't even share food and snacks..She would really hide it in her room or in her cabinets so that no one could touch it..I mean, What's up with that?! Sharing has always good...She didn't want the book borrowed by anyone because she claimed that my other cousin who is also a BSN Freshman would later borrow that book! I mean, if she wanted to borrow that book, I could do 2 things: (1) I could easily get back the book from my friend and give it to her if she needs it badly and (2) Why would she need my book? Certainly my aunt (her mom) who also took up Nursing (SPN) should have the same or similar book with her at home..she even has more books than I do! My grandma was just looking for excuses so that my friend couldn't borrow that book. I understand that there are things borrowed before that you could never see again..They'll own it already. But certainly not always! I don't really get her...I told her that she'll be the one to talk to my friend and tell her that she why can't borrow the book, and it's not my fault...I don't give a **** to whatevers gonna happen between them two..I give up...I don't want to be selfish, because i'm not like that...I want to help other people even in the simplest way I can...but it's hindered by the selfish hag... She's so fake..
~Miaka_28 ^_^[2:07 PM]
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